Bilateral Talks with the Governor General of Canada
Shudder in contrived fear as I, Alien Commander Glort, take significant steps to achieve the complete takeover of the human culture.
Yesterday I revealed myself to the fans of the ritual Athletic Competitive Gathering the humans refer to as the Olympics. The congruence of Earthlings from various global tribes who possess advanced abilities to maneuver in the snow allows an opportunity for a highly publicized Alien takeover. When the members of my Intergalactic Invasion Parade Squadron demonstrate the sheer power of their speed-skating prowess, aerial skiing ability and their curling talents, humans everywhere will know that the Era of the Creature has begun.
The Governor General of Canada, Michaëlle Jean, upon hearing of our intentions, made haste to make contact me on Granville Island to arrange for a peaceful and painless human surrender. Over a large and ornamental table deep within the snow-covered mountains of Vancouver, we negotiated for five hours straight, breaking only occasionally to feast on poutine and imbibe Canada Dry brand ginger-flavored ale.
Cooperation from the Canadian Government is now practically assured. In exchange for our ability to freely broadcast daily messages from Granville Island, we were promised that when the cosmic takeover is complete, K.D. Lang will sing the Creature National Anthem and the cinematic achievements of Earth-actor Mike Myers will be highlighted in the Creature Museum of Artistic Achievement.